Tuesday night is hash night, i've not been too regular of late with illness and other things happening but I will never miss the chance to get dressed up..so even though it was cold outside Dolittle and Gurnie got dolled up for their vegetable hash....going as Has Bean's! We were going to go as Swede's but decided that blue lycra shiney trousers and blond hair weren't going to work for us that well so here we are with Dolittle adjusting her bum with a little help and me in my makeup and curlers ready to go and scare the others...sorry find the others!!The following was written mainly for The Words that we have, each week someone is given/or volunteers to write them as a way for everyone to remember what we got up to on various hashes...for some reason they keep letting me write them even though I tend not to do the true hash and either short cut or make it up or follow Maverick and Hatrack and let them lead me astray although more recently this has been Bogof's job...so the main of this is in the words:
Hey are Ethel, I’m not sure we’re in the right place…there are lots of strange looking people standing over there with torches on their heads…It’s ok Mabel I told you we’re doing that thing that Bert and Arthur used to do that ‘ashing thing…Oh ok Ethel,so who are those three young men standing on those benches over there…Mabel they are the Grand Master…Oh yes he is very grand luv isn’t he?..Yes Mabel and the other two are hares…Hares?...Yes hares luv, they’ve laid the trail….They’ve drunk some ale? I expect they will have done wearing just those and why have they got those pinnies on?....it’s fancy dress luv....fancy dress? That’s not very fancy I think you and I are a tad overdressed Ethel. Shhh Mabel I’m trying to hear what they are saying…I heard something about a brass band playing Ethel….No that’s the Hash Bash they’re talking about…They’re having some Hash browns?...No Mabel they’re telling us there is a long/short split and no regroup….You’ve got to strip and you’ll get croup, not sure I like the sound of that our Ethel….No Mabel it’s ok just follow me we have to follow the trail…Ohh Ethel look at that dog over there, has it just done what I think it’s just done?...It’s ok Mabel Hard Stare is a responsible dog owner and carries bags around with him everywhere….what’s that Ethel Hard Stare is a ponsy hog loner and marries bags with no hair?...shhh Mabel we’re off now. Here we go luv up the steps take care…OO Ethel there’s lots of people going past….yes luv they are faster than us don’t worry we’ve got 6pak and Growbag behind looking after us…what Ethel we’ve got a six pack and a Growbag looking at our behinds, I’ll have ‘em I will…Mabel calm down luv, they are looking after us, oh well let’s let them get on and look after the others we’ll do our own thing and meet back here…Whatever you think Ethel,Ah hello young man, what’s your name, Bogof really that’s no way to talk to two elderly ladies….Mabel that’s his name, Bogof would you care to escort us this evening, you would oh that’s lovely…Ooo Ethel he’s a bit of a chip off the old block isn’t he! (ha ha) he’s a very nice man right shall we go up this hill through this very large field…I can hear some shouting Ethel what is going on…Well Mabel if you look closely you can see the rest of the pack has already gone up the hill and off to the right and disappearing out of sight…what’s that you say luv we need some Lurpak to use with the grill and then we’ll be right….Come 
on Mabel just keep going, Bogof which way shall we go now, you’ve seen the On Home sign and it’s this way, sounds like a plan we will never catch up with the main pack now they’ve gone to the far side of the field kitchen now and making their way around the hill…Ethel this hill is huge luv, not sure I’ll make it, I need a wee….it’s ok Mabel we’ve got our bags on haven’t we?...Oh yes thank you for reminding me….what’s that Bogof? You want us to carry on up this lane so we can hide from the rest of the pack and pretend that we have done the whole hash, oh sorry my mistake you want us to carry on following the trail and do the hash properly like everyone else in the hash apart from perhaps Maverick and Sweet Pee who we will let off because she has been proper poorly!....Ethel why have we turned our lights out, I can’t see….Shh Mabel that could be them coming now,see how far they’ve been round the hill over the other side and they’ll be coming along here any minute…..SEVERAL MINUTES PASS….Ethel I don’t think they’re coming….Shh Mabel, Bogof is convinced they will be coming…SEVERAL MORE MINUTES PASS…PHOTOS ARE TAKEN..SEVERAL MORE MINUTES PASS…Ethel…uhuh…
ethel I really don’t think they are coming and that nice Mr Growbag will be cross if we don’t get back and enjoy his food…Ok Bogof I really do think that this On Home sign is a false trail for the cars and maybe we should be heading back now, come on Mabel let’s go….Ethel I like going downhill better than uphill and it’s lovely solid concrete rather than stubbly fields better for my stick you know…yes Mabel, hang on what’s that Bogof? They are coming after all ok Mabel you are going to have to run now….What Ethel you’ve got a gun?...Juuusstt RUUUNNNNN!...Do I really have to break a habit of a lifetime? Oh go on then…Arrghh I’m losing my bum….Grab it Ethel, don’t lose your bum whatever you do, um Ethel what are we doing now?....We’re just going to wait in here for a minute or two and let the others pass by….Why Ethel, we’re not hiding are we?.....Not exactly Mabel it’s more just waiting for a suitable place to join the fun we don’t want to get in anyone’s way do we?....Oh No Ethel that wouldn’t be nice at all….What’s that Bogof? You think we should go now, Ok Mabel off we go and you need to be a bit quick now….Oh Ethel me knees is bad and this cold air will go on us chests you know!....Here we are Mabel do you remember coming down this road when we drove here?....Not sure that I do 
Ethel see I can’t really see over the steering wheel, tend to just use the curb or the hedges for guidance, does that mean we can sit down now?...Yes Mabel come on we can go inside…Ethel why are those people staring at us?....It’s because we are so beautiful and they can’t take their eyes off us…what even that young man over there that very very young man, that very very very young man…Yes Mabel he’s called Legs 11..Ooo like Bingo…Yes Mabel and he’s with his mum Drag Act so you need to be on your best behaviour…Oh yes of course I will…it’s been a lovely evening hasn’t it Mabel we must do it again sometime soon, I really liked seeing Arfanar, Sweet Pee as sweetcorn, Guzzunder, Grom and Bogof as potatoes, Glasseye as a huge pea oh and lots of other brilliant people….it has indeed been lovely Ethel, the food was good, not quite as nice as fish ‘n’ chips and a cuppa tea but very nice, that Growbag and 6pak certainly did us proud luv….Yes oh shush a minute Mabel they are doing the down downs….you what luv?...shushh oh they’re talking about Hard Stare and his dog incident, ooo luv they’ve mentioned us, that must be our beauty again, oh now someone called co
nad or gonad is being given a drink for bullying….is that what they do nowadays? Award people for being bullies, I don’t think that is good Ethel…shhh mabel I can’t hear luv, oh now they are giving Shatnav one for getting lost I think and oh he’s past it onto Manpig as he’s driving…he’s always getting lost I hear that one Ethel…yes Mabel and I can’t quite hear who the third one is for oh it’s Codpiece but no didn’t quite catch why?...Ethel what are they doing now?...They’re all singing the down downs…… Ethel can I go home now please I need to empty my bag…we’ve already emptied them Mabel don’t you remember….No I don’t remember much nowadays luv, I’ve had a lovely time but I really think we should go…Ok Mabel say goodnight then and we’ll go home…Goodnight Ethel…Goodnight Mabel…..Later that night Mabel and Ethel slept well with pleasant dreams of running and laughing and eating and drinking out of catheter bags and of course the very very very nice young men they had met that evening, so till the next instalment of Mabel and Ethel do exciting things we’ll sign off and bid you all a very pleasant evening and On On xxxxx
on Mabel just keep going, Bogof which way shall we go now, you’ve seen the On Home sign and it’s this way, sounds like a plan we will never catch up with the main pack now they’ve gone to the far side of the field kitchen now and making their way around the hill…Ethel this hill is huge luv, not sure I’ll make it, I need a wee….it’s ok Mabel we’ve got our bags on haven’t we?...Oh yes thank you for reminding me….what’s that Bogof? You want us to carry on up this lane so we can hide from the rest of the pack and pretend that we have done the whole hash, oh sorry my mistake you want us to carry on following the trail and do the hash properly like everyone else in the hash apart from perhaps Maverick and Sweet Pee who we will let off because she has been proper poorly!....Ethel why have we turned our lights out, I can’t see….Shh Mabel that could be them coming now,see how far they’ve been round the hill over the other side and they’ll be coming along here any minute…..SEVERAL MINUTES PASS….Ethel I don’t think they’re coming….Shh Mabel, Bogof is convinced they will be coming…SEVERAL MORE MINUTES PASS…PHOTOS ARE TAKEN..SEVERAL MORE MINUTES PASS…Ethel…uhuh…
ethel I really don’t think they are coming and that nice Mr Growbag will be cross if we don’t get back and enjoy his food…Ok Bogof I really do think that this On Home sign is a false trail for the cars and maybe we should be heading back now, come on Mabel let’s go….Ethel I like going downhill better than uphill and it’s lovely solid concrete rather than stubbly fields better for my stick you know…yes Mabel, hang on what’s that Bogof? They are coming after all ok Mabel you are going to have to run now….What Ethel you’ve got a gun?...Juuusstt RUUUNNNNN!...Do I really have to break a habit of a lifetime? Oh go on then…Arrghh I’m losing my bum….Grab it Ethel, don’t lose your bum whatever you do, um Ethel what are we doing now?....We’re just going to wait in here for a minute or two and let the others pass by….Why Ethel, we’re not hiding are we?.....Not exactly Mabel it’s more just waiting for a suitable place to join the fun we don’t want to get in anyone’s way do we?....Oh No Ethel that wouldn’t be nice at all….What’s that Bogof? You think we should go now, Ok Mabel off we go and you need to be a bit quick now….Oh Ethel me knees is bad and this cold air will go on us chests you know!....Here we are Mabel do you remember coming down this road when we drove here?....Not sure that I do 
Ethel see I can’t really see over the steering wheel, tend to just use the curb or the hedges for guidance, does that mean we can sit down now?...Yes Mabel come on we can go inside…Ethel why are those people staring at us?....It’s because we are so beautiful and they can’t take their eyes off us…what even that young man over there that very very young man, that very very very young man…Yes Mabel he’s called Legs 11..Ooo like Bingo…Yes Mabel and he’s with his mum Drag Act so you need to be on your best behaviour…Oh yes of course I will…it’s been a lovely evening hasn’t it Mabel we must do it again sometime soon, I really liked seeing Arfanar, Sweet Pee as sweetcorn, Guzzunder, Grom and Bogof as potatoes, Glasseye as a huge pea oh and lots of other brilliant people….it has indeed been lovely Ethel, the food was good, not quite as nice as fish ‘n’ chips and a cuppa tea but very nice, that Growbag and 6pak certainly did us proud luv….Yes oh shush a minute Mabel they are doing the down downs….you what luv?...shushh oh they’re talking about Hard Stare and his dog incident, ooo luv they’ve mentioned us, that must be our beauty again, oh now someone called co
nad or gonad is being given a drink for bullying….is that what they do nowadays? Award people for being bullies, I don’t think that is good Ethel…shhh mabel I can’t hear luv, oh now they are giving Shatnav one for getting lost I think and oh he’s past it onto Manpig as he’s driving…he’s always getting lost I hear that one Ethel…yes Mabel and I can’t quite hear who the third one is for oh it’s Codpiece but no didn’t quite catch why?...Ethel what are they doing now?...They’re all singing the down downs…… Ethel can I go home now please I need to empty my bag…we’ve already emptied them Mabel don’t you remember….No I don’t remember much nowadays luv, I’ve had a lovely time but I really think we should go…Ok Mabel say goodnight then and we’ll go home…Goodnight Ethel…Goodnight Mabel…..Later that night Mabel and Ethel slept well with pleasant dreams of running and laughing and eating and drinking out of catheter bags and of course the very very very nice young men they had met that evening, so till the next instalment of Mabel and Ethel do exciting things we’ll sign off and bid you all a very pleasant evening and On On xxxxx After the hash we decided that we had enjoyed being old ladies so much we wanted to have some more fun so we went into our local garage which is for local people and bought some mints and bread and paid for it with pennies....the man behind the counter just smiled and said...I'm not going to ask? We did explain why we were dressed like old ladies and hopefully we managed to bring a bit of light and happiness into his life too!
Here are the pictures we took of us in the shop in the garage with our purchases...I've never laughed so much for ages and it felt good to be doing that again. So thank goodness for little old ladies Mabel and Ethel and who knows we might not be seeing the last of those two!! On On till next time xx
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