It seems like a long time since i've sat down and written to you, I think about you every day and try and keep strong for the boys.
It was Theo's birthday on Saturday and I know you would have been there with us celebrating. I was so upset on the evening when the boys were in bed, I just couldn't stop crying. I miss you so much not having you around especially on occasions like that. I kept seeing you with us sitting on the bench smiling at the boys paddling in the mud, I could hear you saying to me 'Oh sunshine, you're getting so muddy!'
I went to the cemetery on Friday to change the flowers and planted the plant in our garden as it was still flowering. I'll be going again this Friday as it will be 6 years since we lost Dad. Time seems to have gone so quickly yet so slowly. I have been thinking about Dad today and remembering the last time I saw him, how he told me that Theo was just marvelous and how he so carefully touched his hand. I wish you were both still here, sometimes I feel very very alone without you. Auntie B has been so supportive and she rang me twice today because she said I sounded so low this morning.
I've felt very low and down...I need to let it out sometime though but try not to do it around the boys.
Theo had a lovely birthday though and Oli is very proud of his 6 year old brother.
I'll write again soon when I get chance to,
missing you Mum, love you so very specially
Your daughter forever
Ruth xxxxx
