Theo's Birth

Ok so here's the bit that i need to write about but don't expect people will want to read about. Here goes.
I think i'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to childbirth, when i was pregnant with Theo, our first, i read all the books i could on natural childbirth, i did yoga till i could bend no more, i ate the right foods, and was heading towards the perfect natural childbirth, until the consultant stepped in and advised me against a home birth due to my bleeding disorder and other complications.

So after thinking about things i'd geared myself up for a hospital birth, little did i know that i would spend the time I did in hospital. It all started on the Tuesday, Theo was late and I had to go into hospital to be induced, I won't go into details as I wouldn't want to bore anyone or put anyone off. What I will say is that each birth is individual just as every person is individual. If you are pregnant and reading this then don't be worried, or scared just be open minded and know that at some stage you will be through the other end hopefully with a beautiful baby in your arms.
Right where was I ....oh yes late evening Tuesday my husband and I walked into the hospital thinking that the day after we would have become parents, how wrong would we be. I was induced that evening and spent the time being monitored and some contractions but then nothing. I spent the next two days wandering around the hospital with some contractions arriving then disappearing, being monitored and meeting some interesting and funny people. Like the girl who didn't like english food and kept sitting talking to people keeping them awake all night. One of my memories of the time spent there was lying in a huge bath in the bathroom down a corridor at about 2am and hearing strange echoey noises around me and looking down at my huge bump and thinking this is very bizarre and wondering what it would be like to give birth.
I became pretty desperate by Thursday night and with Theo being 2weeks late they decided that Friday they would do something to get the baby out, I had semi prepared myself for a caesarian by this stage as it was taking so long, which wasn't my ideal but after spending so long being pregnant and so long in hospital I just wanted to become a Mum! So Thursday night i was persuaded to take a sleeping tablet and painkiller, it took a lot of persuasion but in the end i gave in, I needed a good night's sleep the midwife had said. I entered my sleep in a happy dreamlike state and woke up feeling quite alert and raring to go. The midwife came and did a check and told me I would be going to have my waters broken that morning, my husband and I sat chatting thinking that it would be late morning, five minutes later she arrived back and said we could go to the delivery room........GULP.......this was it......the baby would be imminent now. GULP GULP GULP.
I can't tell you how nervous i felt at that point, it was like being sent to the headmaster for the worst possible thing and not wanting to go. My legs felt like lead and yet on the other side I was getting so excited. We went up to the delivery suite, which coincidently was the one that we had been shown around when we had done our visit about a month before. We were told about what was going to happen next and then it all began for real....
I'm going to break your waters....well i think i had the pacific ocean inside me....a big pad was on the bed and the midwife got her "crochet hook" and broke the bag and GUUUUUUSSSSHHHHH out it came, lie there for a while, she says and when you feel like it go for a walk that will help baby on it's way.
It's lunchtime i said to Mark, you need to eat something as this could be the last chance for a while, let's walk to the canteen, have lunch then come back. Hmmmmm I moved and GUUUSSSSHhhhh. Mark ran to get some hand towels and came back to try and wipe up the mess. He must have gone through a whole pack before it finally calmed down enough for me to get vertical. I grabbed several maternity pads ( too much information i know but it's got to be told!!) and we waddled very slowly to the canteen, which is probably as far away from the delivery suites as it possibly could be. I clenched all my muscles that were in the vicinity of "downstairs" as each step i took more fluid poured out. We eventually arrived at the canteen, bang on lunchtime so the place was packed. I waddled, hurriedly to the outside area, i thought at least they could clean it up better and it wouldn't mess the carpets. See considerate to the last! Mark tucked into his fish and chips and i tried to eat something, i can't remember what it was now i was more concerned with what was happening in my tummy area. I had two contractions through the lunch break and stopping in the toilet to refresh myself, we waddled back to the delivery suite.
We arrived back to find that nothing of any particular interest had happened to the baby and the midwife said that she was going to hook me up to the drip to start me off. I, innocently asked how long i would be attached to the drip and she replied that it was with me until i gave birth. I could have cried at that point. I was so hoping to be able to move around during labour and not be attached to anything. I got over it though when I remembered that the end result would hopefully be a baby, so in the needle went and Teri, my named midwife, arrived just in time to see it going in. Now i should explain here that Teri, a fellow blogger, is one wonderful lady. She's caring, professional, friendly and she has the ability to make me laugh even when i feel like it;s the end of the world, so to see her happy face was just what I needed.
Well the drip started and bang, there was a contraction, I had arranged the couch and was sitting down when it hit and i stood up, bent over, breathed and Mark rubbed my back and it was over. I sat down saying to Mark i'll have a rest in betw..... but before I could get anymore out BANG another contraction, i stood up and then it was over......then BANG BANG BANG blimey i said this is abit quick. It's the drip kicking in replied Teri. Oh i see.....I think i'll need some more pain relief because i'm not going to cope with this. Teri asked what I'd like, a paracetamol or two I said... Teri looked at me and grinned, I think probably you'll try the gas and air now, that will probably work better. So out came the gas and air and after a quick lesson I was puffing and sucking it in like a pro. I also got very giggly and felt quite high. It wasn't long though before this wasn't having much of an effect and help was needed. An anaesthetist was called to perform an epidural, but he was busy elsewhere so i would have to wait. All this while I had been getting more and more tangled in the wires coming from all around me and was kneeling on the bed with my bum in the air, I felt like i was going to poo and was so embarrassed but told Teri and Mark who said they would get something for me to go in. I actually thought i'd pood all down Mark's leg but i'm relieved to say it was just the gas and air playing games with my brain. I then got the urge to push and I had read somewhere that the baby really is imminent when this happens. I shouted i'm going to push i'm going to push. Teri said well you can but you're only 4cm dilated and nothing will come out! Mark whispered in my ear, you're doing really well, the anaesthetist will be here soon. I whispered back No the baby is on it's way , the baby is coming and I puuussshhheedddd with all my might and then heard a voice in my ear. I turned my head to see a friendly face next to mine saying something, at that point i wasn't exactly sure who it was or what he was saying but remember thinking the baby isn't coming and this means more pain and for how much longer and i started to get really annoyed then. Teri talked to the anaesthetist while i mumbled and grumbled and shouted and took in more gas and air. I remember shutting my eyes as the pain was too much to bear and thinking i just didn't want to be there, then all of a sudden the pain started to ease and I could hear people again and the room became clear again. The epidural was working. I was able to lie on the bed and feel nothing. I felt calm and quite relaxed. Teri had to go because it was now late in the evening about 9.00pm so she left and another midwife took over before our next midwife could get there. Sophie let Mark go and get something to eat, try and get some sleep she said to me, SLEEP???? are you insane i thought, i'm giving birth i can't go to sleep. I lay quietly, calmly waiting for something to happen and for Mark to return. Then I got a pain in my groin, should I have that pain I asked Sophie, erm No she replied, let's tilt you, the epidural may not be working properly. Panic set in then, what if i went back to that pain, I didn't think I could cope. Over the next few hours I had several top ups for the epidural which didn't really work and felt more and more tired. i kept the gas and air and had several visits from various doctors and midwives. Helen the midwife arrived and took control, she was so calming and made me feel like i was being well looked after. Then the decision was made, it was going to be a caesarian. After almost 12 hours of labour I was nowhere near being fully dilated and it looked like the baby was stuck. I was shaved and talked to about the procedure, being half asleep and drugged up to the hilt with the gas and air and epidural it didn't really bother me when they told me what could happen during the c/section. I signed the paperwork and then noticed a handsome doctor in green to my left who then bent down and kissed me....blimey I thought that's service, then I realised it was Mark who had to get into green for going into theatre. I was wheeled through corridors filled with cardboard boxes and went into the theatre. A spinal block was inserted, my legs already like jelly became numb and i couldn't feel anything from the chest down. I remember hearing my name being mentioned and mark at my side. I then felt, just like Teri had said, like someone was doing the washing up in my tummy. One of the ladies in there said that I would hear some sucking then i would feel a pull and sure enough there it was, it felt like someone had got my lungs and was trying to pull them out through my bottom!!! Then all of a sudden a baby was thrust over the curtain and placed on the bed next to my head. I can remember thinking to myself, this isn't my baby, i'm not going to bond with it but as soon as i looked closer and kissed the bluey, purpley, wrinkly skin i knew that he was my baby. Baby Theo. He was taken to be washed and handed to Daddy and i looked up to the ceiling with relief that it was all over.........Major GULP... I could see what was going on in the reflection of the silver of the light. As clear as day i saw my innards being squashed back into my skin and then the doctor stitching me back together. It was intriguing but quite gross at the same time, one of those moments where you think i'll never see this again so i must look but at the same time thinking oh my lord this is disgusting. Well back to the delivery room we went with our baby in tow and a couple of hours later i'd breastfed and Theo was sleeping and so was Mark on the floor and I was lying there not being able to feel my legs, feeling very thirsty and absolutely knackered but not able to sleep a wink.... and there we have it my first experience of childbirth. I'm sure when i get the time i'll tell you all about Oliver's birth too.